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I deletes my journal after abandoning it a year ago.

But last night I seriously woke up at 3 am and thought, "NO! You can't do that! There are important entries on there!"


(no subject)

Is it too late for me to decide I don't want to miss FnF this year? Neither John nor Jenna will be in town this weekend and I have no plans at all. I have gone the last three years. Maybe it would be nice for me to get out of SF for a bit...

I wonder if the 45 dollar ticket is worth it?

And I wonder if I could even get a ticket, and even harder still, a ride?
  • Current Mood
    awake awake


I just ran into the laundry person. All is forgiven. Mostly because he started the drying right when it was done. And partly because...he was hot! I didn't know hot people lived here.


Well, I'll get my clothes done after all!
  • Current Music
    Spinbad - Rock the Casbah


I set my alarm early today so I could get my laundry done before going to work. I woke up at the alarm and decided another hour wouldn't hurt.

So in that hour of sleep, I dreamed I lived on a campus somewhere with only one washing machine and four dryers. I begged some girl to watch the washer for me while I got some change. I came back five seconds later and some enormously tall strong girl was loading her clothes in. I tried to fight her. I pulled her braids.

Anyways, the fight reminded me to wake up and get my laundry done! I literally jump out of bed and hustle to the buildings laundry right outside my kitchen door. Someone had *just* started washing in our only washer. JUST! A fucking MINUTE before. arggggh.

If they start drying their clothes *immediately* I will probably be able to wash and dry before work. Hopefully. I'm so annoyed. And it's all my fault.

This album would be really fucking good if he didn't alter the songs. Like if he stopped scratching and rewinding, this album would be fucking amazing.

So my karmic sign is so ridiculously right on. I think John was laughing while I read it outloud. There are some lines that really stand out.

Scorpio tends to be one of the most possessive, jealous and suspicious Signs of the Zodiac. Those born under its influence possess a heightened sense of secrets and are always trying to sniff out what's hidden. However, other Signs may be more forthright and direct, meaning everything is out in the open -- but Scorpios will try to find out the "real" truth anyway, perhaps even to the point of creating a secret or a lie where there isn't one. Scorpios must learn the value of trust and privacy. Allow friends and lovers to feel trusted and trustworthy; allow them to choose which parts of themselves to share and which to keep private.

That whole paragraph got me. I had even been struggling with those issues in the past week. The part about allowing friends and lovers to keep parts of themselves private is something I've been trying to work on. I'm really trying hard to realize a man has his secrets and I have to live with people not sharing every little last detail with me when I ask. I try and drag the truth out of everyone and have always been baffled at people who just don't want to know.

Scorpio must learn to self-regulate more effectively, to resist the urge to lash out when hurt, to rise above pettiness and manipulation. Learn to forgive and forget, since holding on to anger and grudges improves nothing for anyone.

Yeah, that too.

I read John's too. His was really accurate too. Again, reflecting issues in the last week we;ve discussed. I still have some ponderings about a conversation we had Tuesday night about *my* future. I might pose it here to see what anyone thinks...
  • Current Music
    Spinbad - Rock the Casbah

(no subject)


I just read that one my oldest, bestest friends is going off to war.

Although I haven't seen him in years and talk to him only occassionally, I still love him very much and consider him one of my close friends. I've never met another person that I could talk to for 6 hours straight on the phone and not feel any akward silence or repeat myself. And his letters to me are still the best I've ever gotten from anyone.

I wanted this livejournal entry to portray exactly how deeply saddened I am. But it's not even scratching the surface.

  • Current Music
    Limp - Eighteen

(no subject)

The only thing worse than having hormonal related depression and mood swings is having people not understand and blow you off.

It makes everything ten times worse.

  • Current Mood
    disappointed disappointed

(no subject)

What an interesting weekend. There has been a lot going on!

Friday night John and I trekked out to Ocean Beach for Lydia and Patrice's bonfire. I had a pretty good time there. It was a GORGEOUS night. The sky was clear, the moon was full, and the ocean was...well, it was the ocean. And it's always beautiful. I got to see the girls fire dance for the first time. I was *very* impressed! I didnt know they actually danced while they did it. Silly me. Burning the Christmas tree's were a little crazy. Steph got some great pictures for the night. I got to spend some time roaming the beach by myself too. That was nice.

On Saturday, I had to work. There was the anti-war march going on just two or three blocks from me and I had to be working. We were busier than we ever had been. Usually our line for the bathroom was atleast 5 people long. When I left I caught the tail end of the march. Literally. These people must have slept in or something. There was 1 sign for every 15 peope meandering down the street. I'm sorry I missed it but Stephen took this picture that cracked me up. "Dude, you're getting a NUKE!" *chuckle*

Saturday night John and I went out to Ocean Beach *again* for a party at his co-worker Alix's house. Emi was there! She is good friends with Alix apparently. Despite not knowing a single person besides Emi, John, and Alix, I had a great time. I talked a lot with Alix. I like her. I want her to come to Tahoe with us. Maybe she can teach me some shit. I think we ended up staying until 2 or something. I had a couple beers and got very tired, I passed out right when I hit the bed.

Sunday, John went to the Raiders game and I went home. I had every intention of actually watching the game but things out turned differently. I started reading Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas and promptly fell asleep at about 2. I had a long, winding, freaky nightmare (books fault?) and woke up to catch the head coach being interviewed. They're going to the Super Bowl! I'm happy for all you Raider fanatics.

So after the game, John picked me up and we had dinner at Gordo's (yuuuuuumy burrito turned home-made nachos!). Then we watched Whiteboyz in Stephen's room. I don't know about that movie. The main character is so fucking annoying and frustrating. But the climax of the movie hurts my stomach to watch. The movie was a little too embarrassing and a little too intense. I just don't know, man...

I woke up to loudness this morning. The MLK march is going right down my street. It was loud and nuts. I was too groggy to grasp it for a second. "What's that noise? Is someone playing music from their car outside? And beating a drum? whaaaa?"

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!!!!!!!!

I don't have to work until 4 pm. I'm going to clean my room and the bathroom, do some kitchen work. And then I'm thinking of heading down to Any Mountain to pick up an application. Gonna have to call you-know-who first.

Good times. I had a great weekend. And this is shaping up to be a productive week! I wonder who is having a party on Sunday.... ?
  • Current Music
    Lenny Kravitz - I belong to You

Horoscope for the Day

PISCES February 18-March 19
A personal dilemma proves too complicated; so don't feel bad about throwing in the towel. This does more good than you sticking around.

That is *exactly* what I was thinking
  • Current Music
    Lenny Kravitz - It Ain't Over

(no subject)

There is nothing right now that can spoil my good mood. Everything is in place. Even my cat is being sweeter than usual. He slept with me for hours this morning. And when I say "with me", he was literally curled up next to me and resting his head on my arm. We were spooning! Thats a nice way to wake up.

And it's fucking NICE outside. I walked to work to pick up my paycheck and I had to shed two layers. Thank God for undershirts. I don't work until 4 pm. It's nice.

I may be going to work with John? More on that later.

I love payday. It never lets me down! oooh that reminds me. I have to pay my phone bill now. :)
  • Current Music
    Jurassic 5 - After School Special